To the outside world we all grow old. But not to sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. ~ Clara Ortega.
As a child growing up in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney in New South Wales, Australia, my parents would often take me on an outing to see the “Three Sisters”, a mountainous landmark in Katoomba, where the majestic formation of rocks juts out into the depths of the Grose Valley.
Mum would tell me I should call the “Three Sisters” by the names of my own three sisters, Anne, Christine and Vivien. Being a child I thought this idea was great fun, and even as I grew older I could never see the “Three Sisters” without remembering my own three sisters.
Naming the rock formations after my own sisters became even more apt as the years went by, my sisters were my rocks, giving me strength, wisdom, love, advice and friendship, for which I am eternally grateful. In so many ways, I have been blessed by the structure of the family in which I was born, having four female role models throughout my growing years, all of whom would nurture me, in their own individual ways, as mothers do their children.
Each of my sisters has their own unique personality and their own individual looks. None of us can see any physical resemblance to each other, even though we have occasionally been told that we do look alike. Apart from all being similar in height, (I may be just a tad taller than the others), and we all eventually ended up having varying shades of brown hair, that’s it – that’s where the similarities end.
A sister is both your mirror…and your opposite. ~ Elizabeth Fishel.
Annette (February 16, 1942 – December 3, 2007) was “Miss Independence”. She lived her life under her terms and made it very clear that there was no room for compromise.
Anne enjoyed the independence of earning her own income, working from home after her two children were born, even though back in the early 1960s, when she first became married, it seemed perfectly acceptable for a woman to be a homemaker. Anne enjoyed having a nice home, she just didn’t choose to be tied to the obligations of a home, in fact, she resented being tied to anything!
It wasn’t until around my fifteenth birthday that I felt that Anne saw me as a person she wanted to get to know. In her younger years, she seemed to have little time in her life for children, even though she had children of her own.
As Anne matured, however, she showed kindness towards everyone. The rebellion of her youth subsided and she became the most caring of people. Whilst mellowing though, she never fully lost her quick wit or the trademark spark in her personality.
Anne and I became great friends and shared a special bond that can best be described as a relationship of being sisters, best friends and worst enemies, with just a smattering of mothering on her part.
We would talk for hours on the phone, sharing opinions, not necessarily always agreeing with each other, but that was okay. I learned a lot from my eldest sister.
On October 27, 1962 Anne married Bruce in the Presbyterian Church at Springwood, NSW. They had two children, Jeffrey and Jenine, but were later divorced in 1977.
Bruce has been a part of my life since my earliest memories. To me, he was and always will be my brother, such is the affection that I feel towards him. I’m sorry his marriage to my sister didn’t last, but that was a decision they had to make. For me, I always have and always will regard Bruce as an important and close member of my family, and he knows that.
There are two other men in my life, who I also regard as my brothers- David, the husband of my middle sister Christine, and Adrian, husband of my youngest sister, Vivien. Like Bruce, I have never known a time in my life when they weren’t there. All three of these men are a part of the secure family unit I grew up in. Nothing will ever change the love I feel for each of them.
Sisters are different flowers from the same garden. ~ Unknown.
I looked forward to times when I could have a sleep-over with my sister Christine when I was young, and we all still lived in the Blue Mountains. I always had the best time with David, and Chris and I would spend time together looking through her jewellery and trying on her clothes and shoes (which were always way too big for me!) Chris had longer hair than my other two sisters back then and she would let me play hairdresser on her hair.
Chris was the sister that I could have deep heart-to-heart talks with when I reached my teenage years. I could tell Chris my deepest, darkest secrets and she would never be shocked by anything I said, betray my trust or laugh at me.
Not long after my parents and I moved north to live near the border of New South Wales and Queensland, Christine, David and their two baby sons moved south to Tasmania.
In Tasmania, Chris and David became parents to two more sons and over the years, Christine’s busy life and the distance we lived from one another did not allow us to keep in touch as often as I would like. But when we speak on the phone, no matter how long it has been since we last spoke, we just pick up our conversation as if we only spoke the day before! That’s just the way it is with us.
An older sister helps one remain half child, half woman. ~ Unknown.
My youngest sister, Vivien, is the sister I see most often and also talk to the most. Vivien lives about six hour’s drive south of me and all of my children are the closest to her out of all their aunties.
But that’s how Vivien is. She’s the Mother when your own mother isn’t there, I know she was to me, and perhaps still is at times. She nurtures and protects and loves and cares for just about everyone.
When I was young and I stayed at her home, we would go on outings, perhaps just shopping or for a walk, but I always enjoyed whatever we did. We would cook together and I would lick the beaters when we made a cake and when she tucked me into bed at her place at night, I would think it was the cosiest bed I had ever slept in!
Just last year, when I spent a couple of days with Vivien at her home, her grandson told me about the things he and his grandparents did together and I felt like a child again. I could relate to his stories and told him, “I used to do those things when I spent time with your grandparents when I was a little girl!” He and I have a lot in common.
And when I went to bed at Vivien’s home, even as an adult, the bed I slept in was still the cosiest bed in the world.
My own son, who visited Vivien with me last year, agrees that Auntie Vivien’s house is the coolest place to visit! My sister is loved and adored by multiple generations.
A younger sister is someone…who needs you…who comes to you with bumped heads, grazed knees, tales of persecution. Someone who trusts you to defend her. Someone who thinks you know the answers to almost everything. ~ Pam Brown.
The youngest of Sam and Annie’s daughters is me…..and this is my story here …
It is through the different personalities and relationships that I have had with my three sisters that I believe I have learned the true meaning of what it is to be a part of a close family. Although there is age and distance between us, the bonds of sisterhood can never be broken.
Both within the family and without, our sisters hold up our mirrors: our images of who we are and of who we can dare to become. ~ Elizabeth Fishel
Barbara Rodgers said:
Beautifully written, Joanne. I love the way you started this page with the picture of you with all of your sisters as children and then ended it with the pictures of all of you as adults. I see a family resemblance there, but plenty of individuality, too. I’m very sorry you lost Annette at such a young age – I have one sister and I can only imagine how awful it would be no longer having her in my life.
Jo Mottershead said:
Thank you Barbara. I think I’m through the emotionally-difficult-to-write posts now, although I won’t have the same amount of in depth information to add either. You probably found the same thing when you were writing the posts for your family tree. The next stage though, my grandparents, will be interesting because they were around in the days of the Census records which have now been released. 🙂
Mike Hicks said:
I agree with Barbara your writing is enjoyable to read and very accomplished.
Jo Mottershead said:
Well that’s good to hear, and thank you Mike. If I ever get boring, please tell me. I won’t be offended! 🙂
Jeff bryce said:
I found this site not long after mum passed away
I still miss mum very much and lately I wish she was still here
Mum always knew when things wernt right and she would call me
I hope that you will be putting more on her
How is everyone going
I feel like a lepa since mum passed away I never hear from anyone anymore
Jo Mottershead said:
Oh Jeffrey, I’ve only just found this as I’ve been away and only arrived home yesterday afternoon.
I’m so glad you found this site. I tried emailing you once but you must have changed your address from the one I had as it was returned undelivered to me. I always hoped you remembered my phone number and would contact me when you were ready to talk again.
So much has happened since Anne has been gone. I still find myself wanting to talk to her, even after so many years. I could talk to her and she would understand what I was saying, like no other person could. You probably feel the same way. Please try not to feel like a leper, I’m still here and think of you often. I think of you on your birthday and have longed for the day you would contact me. Now you have…. 🙂
Sending huge hugs and lots of love to you, my wonderful Jeffrey. ❤
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